Mai Yamani

Duvets are evil

duvet, n.: a clever device whereby, rather than having one's bedding manufactured by machinery or underprivileged children, one manufactures it oneself

So I'm home, and instead of sleeping on my icky dorm top bunk with its vinyl mattress, I'm in my own bed, which is queen-sized with a huge fluffy pillowtop mattress. (There's a good reason for this: the previous owner of the bed moved in a hurry. I only sleep on about one-third of the bed, and the rest is used to store books, laptops, dishes, etc.)

Said bed incongruously sported the quilt I had on my old twin bed, which tended to get wadded up and then fall off the bed every night, owing to being too small. Or something. And then my rabbit, whose cage is across from the foot of the bed, would inspect it, dubiously, and then possibly piss on it, since it was invading her space, and she doesn't think much of squishy things like blankets.

When I mentioned this difficulty to my mother, she immediately said, "Oh, I have this rust duvet in the garage, do you want it?" I examined it, deemed it acceptable, harmonizing in color with other items in my room, and having a nice heavy feel to it, We unwrapped it and spread it over the bed, which it covered quite nicely, being a king-sized duvet. My mom went out and got a king-sized blanket to put in it, which she washed because she said it smelt all factory, and both items were left on my bed when she went to sleep, except that the one was not actually in the other.

Now, for the record, I found it challenging to get pillows in pillowcases, when I was rather younger. And what is a duvet, but an exceedingly large, exceedingly flat pillowcase?

I think there's supposed to be a way to get the blanket in without spreading the duvet out in the living room and crawling in it like a giant, less than spacious tent, but I'll be damned if I know what that way is. Nonetheless, the duvet is assembled and on my bed now.
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