House: An Incomplete and Utter Retrospective

House is dead; long live House!*

Well, it's been eight years now, and in the time that this show has been on the air, a.) the word 'bromance' has somehow become a Thing, something I believe House/Wilson is at least partially to blame for, and b.) said word 'bromance' has been used, by House, to describe his relationship with Wilson. I feel like I could tease this into something profound about homoeroticism and the pop culture ouroboros, but I think I'm just going to boggle instead.

I drifted away from House a couple of times while it was on the air and caught up later, most recently when I heard that it was going to be ending, so I would be prepared for the big send-off. Although I don't know that I would recommend the last season as objectively good or even watchable television, I did personally find a number of things to squee over:
  • ♥Dr. Chi Park♥ She is, like, my self-insert character, if I decided to write myself into House and make myself a doctor (and also, I suppose, Asian). Her introduction to the show was almost too cringe-making for me to watch because I identified too strongly with her over-the-top avoidance, but then she settled into the team and stayed as awkward—like, genuinely awkward, not Hollywood awkward!—as ever, and my love was sealed. Then, as though the House writers' room knew that I had adopted her as my personal Mary Sue, she wound up with a subplot where she and Chase have sex dreams about each other (yeah, it's about as embarrassment squicky as it sounds, but it actually managed some genuinely cute moments in spite of it!) and Patrick Stump made a guest appearance to hit on her and play the guitar with her!
  • Speaking of guest appearances, David Anders showed up as a patient of the week! His character, a dorky and beloved science teacher, was too out of it most of the episode to meaningfully interact with anyone, but he did attack Chase at one point, which I enjoyed more than I probably ought to have. The rest of the episode was actually really good, too.
  • Chase got all kinds of story lines this season, actually! He grew and changed and stuff! I couldn't believe how very young he looked in the clips from season one in the retrospective special, nor how floofy his hair was. Sigh.
  • I knew they weren't going to go anywhere with it, but I actually liked House's fake green card wife! They were really cute together!

So then there was a final episode. And it wasn't terrible? I mean, yeah, the gimmick was pretty much a total rehash of gimmick episodes past, but at this point in the show I didn't really think there were any clever ideas left that they'd been holding in reserve for the grand finale. Seeing basically everybody pop up again (except Cuddy, sadface) was nice, in a nostalgic kind of way. And then, yeah, it's House and Wilson and motorcycles and sunsets forever and ever, and fuck cancer.

*Not actually a spoiler as such.

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