no good very bad

Not-so-hypothetical question of etiquette

What is the most appropriate course of action to take when you're at a movie with your dad and you experience a sudden sharp pain in your left eye because some motherfucker threw a lemon Sour Patch Kid that somehow hit you dead in the eye?

I mean, there's what I actually did, which is rub my eye until it stopped hurting quite so much, and there's what I wanted to do, which was set the theatre on fire, but somehow neither of these seems quite appropriate. Please advise.

Other than that, though, it was a nice day. The clouds kept the evil sun away, I went out with my parents to the spring festival thing downtown, had the best spinach and artichoke pizza ever, bought a pair of cool bead earrings and an old brass alarm clock and some other fun stuff, watched Frank and Jesse James rob the bank for like the five hundredth time, ate my mom's orgasmic homemade doughnuts, wrote some stuff, et cetera. But the Sour Patch Kid kind of, you know, soured things.
  • Current Mood: indescribable indescribable
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If Hello Jules recommends it, how can it possibly go wrong? (Well, you know. Aside from the obvious.)
I would have probably cursed loudly, then found out who it was and given them what for.

I'm known for scaring children who annoy me in theatres, though lately I've just stopped going to the movies since the patrons are so annoying.
That would have been much more satisfying. I just ... can't wrap my head around the idea of talking during movies, at all. Even when molested by projectile candy, apparently.

Of course, if I had been wearing glasses, this would not even have been an issue. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something.
Hiss "Watch it, asshat!" And if the guy did it again to be...well, an asshat, then you kick his chair until he either dumps his drink on you (at which point your father would have been honor bound to beat the crap out of the idiot) or he runs out of stuff to throw at you. And then at the end of the movie, dump what is left of your drink on him (it should be nice and cold with all the ice melting in it) and possibly kick him in the shin.

Then again, I'm a vindictive bitch. :-)
The freaky part was that no one was actually sitting right in front of us because we nabbed those seats at the bottom of the stadium part of the theatre where you can put your feet up on the little metal railing. Of course, I could have vaulted over the railing to search everyone who was sitting in front and then proceed to beating the crap out of the Sour Patch Kid, but alas.
Next time I go into the theatre I need to bring various projectiles of my own. All I had on me were things I actually want to keep, like, say, my iPod, which would probably not serve as an effective deterrent even if it did catch someone in the head and give them a concussion, because hey, free iPod!
If you saw whose it was, you should have attacked. I was in the Liberty theater years and years ago and some boys with a laser pen started pointing it at the screen. I hopped over the rail to snatch it from behind (they were on the back floor row, holding it up above their head instead of surreptitiously aiming from their laps, so I could have easily yoinked it), but an usher ran in and scared them. Cursed usher.
Yeah, I totally didn't, which really made retaliation logistically difficult. It could have been any of the seven kids who were sitting in front of me, although frisking them for Sour Patch Kids would have presumably narrowed my suspects down.

I think more ushers would be a good thing.