Mai Yamani

Ways that you can tell that you're reading a story by mayhap

Gacked from approximately everyone, ever.

  1. Hell has frozen over. Okay, this could also be an indication of many other things, but it might mean that you are reading a story by mayhap
  2. It's short.
  3. The pairing, if applicable, is either Harry/Draco, or weird, obscure and/or literary.
  4. There is no more plot than absolutely, positively necessary.
  5. There's always some plot, though. Or at least, a nice tableau. No one has context-free sex or sex-like activity, anyway. There's some set-dressing tucked around it.
  6. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, the sentences get to be two to three times as long and often involve italics, although these are a bitch to code and I hate them and try to eschew them in the rest of the text because they're a stylistic crutch, but when there is sex, italics probably follow.
  7. If the characters are having sex or sex-like activity, they are usually very good at the sex act(s) they are performing. If not, they and/or their partner are generally really aroused and stuff and enjoy them anyway.
  8. The actual choreography of these sex act(s) can be pretty damn fuzzy. Often, it is comparable to a copy of an Impressionist painting done blindfolded.
  9. If the characters having sex or sex-like activities are guys, which they generally are, they often give blowjobs , for some reason.
  10. The titles suck. I hate thinking of titles.
  • Current Mood: artistic artistic
  • Current Music: Far Away Boys - Flogging Molly - Swagger
but when there is sex, italics probably follow.

A sound maxim for life, I reckon. In fact, perhaps this is how italics are created - roman letters have sex and it leaves them listing over to one side in a post-coital swoon....
This would also tend to explain why my computer is simply of fonts that I have never even seen before. They're breeding!