Fic: The Anachronistic Calvin and Hobbes, G

I wrote a Calvin & Hobbes/Philosophy RPF fusion for [personal profile] oxymora for Yuletide this year!

The Anachronistic Calvin and Hobbes (1281 words) by mayhap
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Calvin & Hobbes, Philosophy RPF, John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes - Nina Matsumoto
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: John Calvin & Thomas Hobbes
Characters: John Calvin, Thomas Hobbes (Philosopher)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Philosophy, Crack Treated Seriously

John Calvin has a chronologically-impossible friend. It had to happen.

It's fic of this piece of art, basically:

John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes by spacecoyote

I was really delighted that so many people enjoyed it!

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yule log

See the blazing Yule before us

I got the sweetest The Dreyfus Affair fic for Yuletide this year!

One Passion, That Of The Light (1237 words) by Anonymous
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Dreyfus Affair - Peter Lefcourt
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Randy Dreyfus/D. J. Pickett
Characters: Randy Dreyfus, D. J. Pickett
Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Baseball, Character of Colour, Schmoop

There's planner porn. It's amazing.

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yule log

Dear Yuletide author

Dear Yuletide author,

I am so pleased that we share an interest in one of these fandoms and I can’t wait to read whatever you write this Yuletide!

I enjoy a wide variety of stories, all year round but especially at Yuletide. I like short, punchy stories and longer, plottier stories, explicitly porny and/or kinky stories and coy stories that are all about the teasing and the implications, stories with some kind of meta angle to them and stories that engage with the source material 100% on its own level, stories with unusual pairings and stories that stick to canon pairings or real life relationships, if applicable.

I am [ profile] mayhap on AO3, [personal profile] mayhap on DW and mayhap on LJ.

The Dreyfus Affair - Peter Lefcourt
Randy Dreyfus
D.J. Pickett

I just adore Randy and D.J. and I’d love a story about them doing absolutely anything and being delighted with each other. I’d love to read the more explicit version of their first time in the weight room, or a more explicit version of them having sex at any time. Normally I would say that epithets in sex scenes are to be used with extreme reticence, if at all, but here it’s canon, so I absolutely want to read about the blond shortstop and his second baseman getting it on.

I also really love stories that incorporate media or are pastiches of pieces of media and this fandom is perfect for one! I’d love to read a Sports Illustrated retrospective piece on Randy and D.J., or an interview in the Advocate about how middle infielders making out in Neiman Marcus changed everything, or a transcript of the episode of Pretty Good by Jon Bois where he breaks down exactly what went down in the Reds-Valley Vikings World Series for a new generation, or anything along those lines, if you’re into that sort of thing.

I’m fine with canon-typical homophobia, racism, etc. playing a role in a story where it would come up. I love baseball and any amount of baseball stuff in a story would thrill me--no such thing as too much or too little.

National Football League RPF
Alex Smith
Travis Kelce

I actually got sucked into watching football because of Yuletide and Alex Smith. He’s such a fascinating, thoughtful, smart guy who’s easy to root for and fun to watch, especially this year when (at least through four games at the time I’m writing this) he’s been playing like an MVP candidate and people are being forced to take notice and I love it.

Travis Kelce is pretty much the exact opposite of Alex in so many ways but somehow managed to charm me in spite of myself. He’ll do things that are SO childish yet SO satisfying, like the time he threw his towel at a referee. I love how he plays up the dumb jock thing because he’ll also talk about how cool it is that Alex knows so much stuff and how he can ask him anything because Alex always has an interesting response. I can’t even hate him for being a Cleveland sports fan.

I’d love get-together fic or established relationship fic, but I’d be just as delighted by gen about football stuff--if you can even call it gen, the way they’re always talking about ‘chemistry,’ and ‘hooking up’ and other such innuendo—or gen about downtime stuff, especially turning mundane activities into a competition, or talking about TV shows that various team members are watching (often because Alex has recommended them). I’d also really love Alex Smith gangbang fic, the kind where his teammates get together to show him how much they appreciate him. Or gen fic about how his teammates get together to show him how much they appreciate him is great too!

The Professor - Charlotte Brontë
William Crimsworth
Hunsden Yorke Hunsden
Frances Evans Henri

I am fascinated the role that Hunsden Yorke Hunsden plays in this story, which is one of the things that makes it different from Vilette, which is essentially Brontë’s later draft. From the beginning he alternates between needling William and performing these extremely thoughtful favors for him, although it's not always easy for him to get under William's skin since William perversely enjoys some of his bluntness. He brings out such an interesting side of Frances when he meets her, too -- I love that promptly she gets into three arguments with him in a row, and the third time she doesn't even believe in the argument she's making; she just wants to fight with him!

I'm particularly interested in a story set when William and Frances are living in England and Hunsden is their neighbor. I love how he has apparently latched onto their family in lieu of starting their own, especially the way he seems to practically be a coparent to Victor when he’s at home. I would love more about their daily life as it's sketched all too briefly in that last chapter, or a story about something that happens as Victor gets older and goes to school, which William worries about.

I would also love threesome fic! William would be almost hopelessly scandalized by the prospect, I think, and surely Frances too, but then with the dynamic both she and Hunsden have with William where they love to tease him I can imagine it working out somehow. I do love stories where characters fumble their way into unusual relationships or sexual practices without quite knowing what they're doing or having the usual vocabulary to talk about it, which is sort of what I would picture. But I would be just as happy with a story that explores the dynamic among them some other way.

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Wade Davis

requiem for a team

Realistically, even if the 2017 Royals had stumbled backwards into the second wild card, they were far too hampered by lingering injuries and boneheaded roster moves to be able to do anything with it. Monday's makeup game in the Bronx made for a tolerably good approximation for how it might have gone—I mean, yes, the game would have been managed differently if it were an elimination game, so maybe the Royals lose 6-1 instead of 11-3, but it's really hard to imagine that they actually win. The Twins, who actually did stumble backwards into the second wild card after selling at the trade deadline, don't look poised to do much with it either, but then they've already exceeded expectations for this year and they aren't losing anyone significant to free agency next year, either.

I actually do hate to say 'I told you so' because it would have been infinitely preferable to admit to being wrong than to watch career years from hometown heroes and impending free agents Eric Hosmer and Mike Moustakas get frittered away amidst general mediocrity and ineptitude over the course of a hundred and sixty-two often-painful games. The Davis-Soler trade was far from the only problem with the team, but it was maybe the biggest single one and it was bad in exactly the way that I predicted that it was going to be bad, so naturally I can't help but perseverate on it.

Closers were maybe the hottest single commodity during the 2016-2017 offseason. Mark Melancon, Aroldis Chapman and Kenley Jansen all commanded massive contracts as free agents. Greg Holland, coming off of Tommy John surgery, signed a deal that was quite lucrative albeit structured with incentives. Fernando Rodney got snapped up by a contending team, for heaven's sake. While the free agents had their choice of suitors, the Royals were the only team shopping a closer in a trade, or at least the only team that pulled the trigger, and for some reason they settled for absolute garbage that both parties pretended was a major league-ready player in return.

When Jorge Soler isn't injured, which is rarely, he's undisciplined, lackadaisical and surly. He would not recognize major league pitching if it bit him in the ass. Sure, when he manages to connect with a pitch, purely at random, he has the strength to hit it out of the park, but most major league pitchers can manage not to give him a pitch to hit when they know he'll flail helplessly at off-speed pitches that aren't even in the same zip code as the plate. He alternates between making half-hearted attempts to field balls that get away from him in the outfield to making big showy diving attempts to field balls that get away from him in the outfield, practically gift-wrapping third base to runners on a regular basis. He appears to have little aptitude for defense, in spite of playing one of the easiest defensive positions on the field, nor has he shown any desire to improve.

He has no incentive to improve, since his contract guaranteed him the same three million dollars whether he was performing worse than a replacement player on the big league club or jacking meaningless dingers off minor league pitching for the Omaha Stormchasers. In a mere 34 games, he racked up an astonishing -1.3 Wins Above Replacement according to Baseball Reference and -0.9 Wins Above Replacement according to Fangraphs, who use a slightly different formula to calculate WAR. A hypothetical replacement player earning league minimum would have been, by definition, worth 0 WAR over those same 34 games and they would have only gotten paid a little over $112,000 to do it. A minor leaguer playing in triple-A only makes $12,000 for an entire season, which is disgraceful, but that is a slight digression from the fact that Jorge Soler earned three million dollars for being completely unsuitable for playing above the AAA level where he spent the majority of the year.

It would have genuinely been better for the team if they had given Wade Davis to the Cubs for literally nothing, because Soler cost more and was worth less than the organizational filler that every team already has available. Oh, and we're still stuck with him for another three years/$12 million dollars, the very prospect of which makes me want to cry almost as much as the idea of Eric Hosmer on the Yankees, Mike Moustakas on the Giants, and Lorenzo Cain on the Rangers, all credible rumors at this admittedly early stage.

Meanwhile I've seen how Joe Maddon uses his rental closers in the postseason and it isn't pretty. If he breaks Wade I swear to God I will burn Chicago to the ground again. I hope the Cubs flame out in the division series.

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canonical coffeeshop AUs

It's probably just as well that I don't live in Japan or I would be far too tempted to scoop up all of this adorable Café Inui merch. How can you say no to delicious probability 100%?

Meanwhile, Peter Moylan is serving the rest of the Royals coffee drinks out of his locker, including a signature drink involving espresso and chocolate milk over ice that he calls a "Sledge-iatto". Yum.

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Mai Yamani

Maud (WITHOUT an 'E')

Some years ago I found a copy of The Selected Journals of L. M. Montgomery, Volume III in a used bookstore, and I've never read it because, among other reasons, I'm constitutionally incapable of starting anything with Volume III. Some time during Femslash February I got frustrated that there wasn't more Anne/Diana fic, especially higher-rated fic (and seriously, why isn't there more Anne/Diana fic?), which extremely indirectly led me to finally put in an interlibrary loan for Volume I, 1889-1910, which I then in due time received. It makes for really fascinating reading. LMM burned all her previous journaling attempts at fourteen and started fresh, so it doesn't quite take her from Anne's age to author of Anne of Green Gables and its first sequel, but it's close. Young Maud (without an 'E') reminds me of her various young heroines in flashes while seeming to me like her own very different person.

The low-hanging fruit of biographical criticism is that LMM, raised primarily by her own aloof grandmother, returned again and again to stories about young girls who melt older women's hearts, so it surprised me that contemporaneously, at least from fourteen onwards, Maud barely mentioned her grandmother in her journal at all. Generally she alluded to her grandparents collectively, or if either was singled out for particular mention, it was her grandfather, pretty much always in the context of how they hampered her social life. Her focus as teenager was very much on writing about her relationships with her peers, male and female. It was only later, starting in her mid twenties, that she began to write about her childhood in retrospect. After her grandfather died, Maud was forced to live with her grandmother in order that she could stay in her own home, which probably had not a little to do with how the role of the older woman became so prominent in her work. The way she describes it, she found these things much more painful to remember than she thought that they had been to her at the time, which I think does comport with the way she presented herself in those earlier journal entries.

I hadn't read anything about either her long unhappy engagement to a man whom she realized, more or less the instant that she accepted his proposal, that she couldn't stand to be intimate with, nor her torrid love affair with a man that she didn't respect and had already decided that she would never marry but whom she could barely keep her hands off of. By her account, they got pretty hot and heavy, having ample alone time in the house where they were both boarding, and on one occasion only narrowly avoided having sex when she, though strongly tempted, refused. It seems like this was her only real experience with physical attraction, at least thus far, and it pretty much just made her miserable. By the end of this volume, she is engaged to the man she would marry, Ewan Macdonald, and knowing what I've read in passing in other sources about their marriage, it was like a horror movie as she talked herself into the engagement.

I was also surprised how little she wrote about her writing in her journal. Notably, she sprung Anne of Green Gables upon it as a fait accompli, which is rather amusing. She does then mention working on the sequel in subsequent entries, more like what I would expect.

I only realized after I'd finished reading the selected journals that this book was coming out in a month: Maud: A Novel Inspired by the Life of L.M. Montgomery. It's a YA novel that looks to begin when she's fourteen, where it can draw on the journals, and climax with her sadly necessary decision to move back to Cavendish with her grandparents because her father's new wife is awful. I've placed a hold on it as well to see if it's any good.

Sidenote, mostly relevant to my own interests: teenaged Maud was apparently an avid and skilled baseball player. ♥ She says they played a modified game of ball at recess, and described another game, at a celebration of the Queen's Birthday: "After dinner Mr. Stovel made some bats and we all went over to the lake and had a game of baseball. It was glorious. Mr. S and I were on the same side and we just made things hum. We won the game, too."

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Hosmoose celebration

target demographic: me

HBO Partners with Major League Baseball to Promote Game of Thrones Season 7

Although I think A Song of Ice and Fire would pair better with American football, and not just because grrm posts about football weekly during the season. I really want an AU where all the provinces of Westeros have football teams, or possibly are football teams, and the plot of the entire series is translated into seasons of football games, but I don't understand football nearly well enough to actually write it even if I would ever finish it, which I wouldn't.

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