the truth is out there

Tales from the Library

Today at work, I a.) had my cart stolen, used as a weapon, and misplaced; b.) managed to inadvertently turn a post it into an institution, and c.) shamelessly taunted a batshit insane paranoiac. It was a rather eventful evening.

Cart Theft
So, I told off a boy who was probably 10 and his 13-year-old sister for chasing each other around with the rolling desk chair we keep in the back for shelf-readers. They apologized and slouched off. When I returned, looking for my empty cart, I realized that they had taken that and used it as a weapon, too. I totally couldn't even find it until later.

The "Star Page" Award
We spend a lot of time double-checking books to make sure that books really belong to our branch, when mostly they have already been checked by the clerks at the desk. Back in the day, Emily my snarky colleague and I used to give each other (or, if necessary, ourselves) little paper awards that we stuck on our lockers whenever we actually caught a stray book.

Tonight, Danielle happened to find such a book, and I said, "Oh, you get the Star Page award then." I wrote "STAR PAGE" on a post it note and drew a star on it and stuck it on her when she came back.

Next thing I knew, she had laminated it with book tape, stuck it on her name tag, and planned to have it passed on to a deserving page every week, along with a piece of paper detailing the rules for the Star Page award and recording all the recipients. I am so not even kidding.

A little bit of me will live on at the library ... for as long as Danielle manages to perpetuate this little slice of middle school. :D

The Copy Lady
Apparently the Copy Lady is a staple of the library, but I've totally never seen her as apparently she wasn't around all summer. She camped out at a table all evening, hunched over some mysterious papers that she was fiddling around with. Every time we walked by, she would get super-paranoid and hide her papers and glare at us, so we grabbed some clipboards and walked by her pretending to take notes.

She practically went into spasms for a moment there, but she seemed to recover sufficiently to peer at all sides of the copy machine for hidden cameras and check the glass eight times for papers she might have left there, all the while talking Danielle's ear off about how Newsweek was going to come and search the place and they'd be able to tell that she'd been there, or something equally implausible.
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getting told off
When I was a kid I was obsessed with those round stools all libraries seem to have in the stacks. You know, the ones that have little castors inside them so they can be swivelled around and kicked along easily? They have a spring inside them so that when you step on them the stool's body drops onto the floor.

I remember kicking these stools around like crazy. Another popular game was to jump on and off the stool to play with the springiness.

I am sure that I would have been told off in your library... :)
You couldn't find the cart? Dude, the Liberty Library isn't even that BIG. Unless, like, they took it into the alley by the rollerskating rink.
I want to know who the copy lady is. I wonder if she ever checks out books at the library or if she's too afraid that like, her personal information will then become widespread, or if the CIA will jail her for what she reads.
I have not seen her check anything out. It would explain her heavy use of the copier.
Haha then you should approach her about "fair use" policy, or make up some shit about how it's illegal to make more than 400 copies per month or something.