put Smarties tubes on cats legs

DICEWARS!

Like Risk, except there's a probability greater than zero that you will actually finish a game in your lifetime!

DICEWARS
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totally unrelated
Thanks so much for sharing the Louise Attaque tracks the other day! I'm enjoying them hugely. :D
Re: totally unrelated
Yay, glad you liked! Louise Attaque deserves to be known and loved far and wide. :D
I'll have you know I *have* finished a game of Risk.

Maybe I have an improbability engine and don't know it... hmm....
The only time I ever finished a game of Risk was in high school, and we ended up spending the night at the guy's house because the game went so late. Oh, and we were hosting a scholar bowl tournament the next day. :D

It goes on so long, and people get bored, and then all your armies get disarranged and no one knows where they went, and then the game is over. :(
Well, I tended to only play two player Risk (with my father), and Gracia House rules for all boardgames are "take no prisoners, show no mercy", which tends to speed them up to a certain degree. It's worst in the case of Monopoly, actually.

But yes, Risk does have some inherent problems, mostly having to do with the fact that there isn't actually a whole lot of strategy you can do, it's simple number crunching. Which can get boring with the Very Large Armies that players inevitably put together.

For this reason, I perfferred Castle Risk, its cards, its system, and its map made for a faster system and more intersting strategic options, and the map had fewer choke points along which you could station humungous armies that would require defeating by even more humunguous armies which would take ten minutes of rolling the damn dice to determine the outcome. And this doesn't even take into consideration the fun you could have with an Admiral card and an amphibious assault.